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Silenthearts
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Name: Goo
Birthday: 8/13/1980
Gender: Male
Interests: drink, break, dance, think, sit around waiting for something to happen, but it never really does. Screw it.
Expertise: fly planes, investigate, observe, hating everyone?, being a big downer!
Occupation: Advertising
Industry: Government
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/29/2003
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| old.. again....... why........
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| for some reason... I feel such an unsettling feeling. Not so much completely lost or anger/annoyed. I can't put my finger on what it is. Hmm.. I wonder if something's wrong... I feel like a new sweet taste in my mouth that makes me smile, but not out of joy; more out of fear and agony. I despise agony and pity... pity because it is makes those that are being pity feel more weak than they are for being pitied... and agony because there is no cure for the gut-wrenching feelings all of complete utter loss, pain, and defeat. Those that are in agony are usually pitied and the cycle only drives the person in agony into more agony. Lately, I feel agony sometimes... but with and without reason.
Still I smile, no matter how many times people blame me for things... see their lies... their pity... their complains... their self-centered remarks... give the "your not good enough" feeling/attitude... all these "whys" appear in my head, but really know why; it more simple to act like people expect though... I still smile trying to feel the least bit of care... answering everything I see with the obvious answer... I wonder sometimes do people ever realize what they say or how they act does affect others one way or another... I am starting to believe they don't... I feel tired... yet I smile. I have hope, but I haven't seen any proof of something worth while... *sigh* this method that I've been doing is beginning to take it's toll... I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this... it's starting to fill me with pain (physical). Emotionally... the feeling of loss, betrayal, anger, love, and saddness... it's all the same, more or less a waste of time... most people probably won't get a single word of this, even if a person does... they won't understand the whole thing. That's how it works. hahaha funny.
The best quote I read a while back was something like... "Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth."
It's not exact, but still funny.
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| Two things.... First... must stop drinking yogurt drinks.... stomach can't take much more.....
second... People are never happy with what they have and always want more sooner or later.
This is the rule of life. Be content or be evil. ... my stomach...........
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| Three things... It's late and my back hurts so forgive the quick blog.
FIRST: People should always understand that there is a deeper message to everything that I do or say. No matter what I say if it is more than one complete sentence, then there is probably something else you should be understanding. *sigh* I expect too much from people sometimes.
SECOND: I do not like to "burn bridges" with people that I have known for a while. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is a bad habit sometimes, but eh whatever. If someone forces an opinion or a state of mind on me, I probably will not act well towards it, if I am not in agreement with it. If you understand or not, good or sucks for you! My patience is still here, but running thinner by the passing years.
THIRD: .... what was I going to put?........ oh yeah... I just can't win!!!!!!!!! WHY?! oh well, things are not going as well as I have planned. *Yawn* blah!
"Is she hot?"
"No, I'd rather stare at an airport runway."
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| Why am I designated to be the one that should understand everything and not say a word back? I definitely can endure a decent amount of abuse..... ah *sigh* I hate memories... I just want them to stop coming back in my head. I have been trying to forget... doing whatever possible.. but things haven't been working out so well nor have they gotten any better. *snore* it's tiring...
...girls are stupid... hahaha jk! ..... god... why..
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